One of my very favorite movies of all time is Remember the Titans. Not only do I love it because it's a great football movie, but I love it because it's based on the true story of a winning high school football team that helped transform a town's prejudice in the 1960s by being a truly united multiracial team. Although in Lansing today we don't face the overt racial tensions of the 60s, I believe that in our ethnically diverse village, we still need to be sensitive in our interactions with one another. It's also important that we are intentional about setting an example for our children and openly communicate with them about the ethnic diversity at Memorial Junior High School. Therefore, I want to challenge us as parents to take a few moments to consider what we are communicating to our children, either directly or indirectly, whether intentional or unintentional.
I deeply value the ethnic and racial diversity of Memorial Junior High School. Learning to understand and appreciate different cultures is such an important part of being a well educated individual. Learning to interact well with people of different races and cultures is a also vital life skill that our children will need to succeed professionally and thrive socially. By attending a diverse school, our children are learning to interact each day with those from different backgrounds and cultures. Take one minute and watch this scene from Remember the Titans!
Did you attend Open House at MJHS a couple weeks ago? Did you notice the growing diversity of the faculty and administration? I'm excited about this as it should give students the opportunity to see adults of varied ethnicity working as a team and rallying around a common goal. It is my hope and expectation that our teachers and administrators will model for our students the highest standards in relationship building and racial sensitivity. But, of even greater importance, we, as parents, have a critical obligation to model for our children these high standards of interaction and sensitivity toward fellow parents and students of varying ethnic backgrounds.
I'm in a somewhat unique position to comment on this topic because I am a Caucasian, married to a Jamaican, and the mother of three biracial children. Our family experience in Lansing in regards to race has been overwhelmingly positive. We enjoy many wonderful friendships with families that represent a wide array of ethnic backgrounds and have been truly enriched by these relationships. But, we have also personally encountered a small handful of disappointing interactions that should be deemed unacceptable by each of us as part of this richly diverse community. So, while this vast issue could be and should be addressed in much depth elsewhere, I'm choosing just three simple principles based on a few of the less than desirable situations that we have encountered.
1. Please, please, please, do not look down on those whose primary language is not English. Yes, this is America. Yes, our official language is English. However, that does not mean that people should be forced to abandon their native language in every way, shape, and form. It is reasonable for our community to offer vital information in other languages, particularly when it is crucial that important information being communicated is thoroughly understood. I once sat in a meeting where someone expressed dislike for the idea of offering a brochure in another language. Why would we ever want to deny a fellow parent the opportunity to understand and be involved in activities at our school due to language barriers? By the way, have you noticed the "google translate" option on this blog? :)
2. Speak using sensitivity! I truly hope and want to assume that parents have candidly addressed the seriousness of racial slurs with their children. But, the importance of using sensitive words regarding differences in culture or race is also vital. For example, saying, "What are you?" is not a respectful way to inquire about someone's ethnicity. My daughter has been asked in this way by an adult, not just other children! Help your child understand that it's okay to be curious and ask about someone's race, ethnicity, or culture, but only in a way that carefully communicates respect to the other person.
3. Perpetuating stereotypes, even when seemingly innocent, is simply not acceptable. Not long ago someone shared with my husband that he really liked "how your people always wear bright colors". The individual genuinely thought he was paying my husband a compliment, and my husband graciously considered that and responded with kindness. However, it is just not acceptable to adhere to or encourage generalizations about an ethnic group or race. And it is important that racial stereotypes are not passed on to the next generation. So, we must be honest with ourselves in acknowledging the stereotypes we believe in order to avoid passing these stereotypes to our children.
If you haven't seen Remember the Titans, or you haven't watched it recently, I would encourage you to watch it with your child! The racial and ethnic diversity that is reflected in our community and at Memorial Junior High School is not mirrored in very many other communities in Chicagoland, or elsewhere for that matter. This diversity is rare and it is precious, and we must treat our unity in that diversity as rare and precious also. One of my favorite lines from Remember the Titans is when one of the white football players is severely injured and wants his black teammate to be allowed in the hospital room to visit. The player says to the nurse, "Alice, are you blind? Don't you see the family resemblance? That's my brother." It is my hope and prayer that our community, and particularly our children at MJHS, will be a shining example of the kind of racial unity that was achieved so many years ago by the Titans of Alexandria, Virginia. And I hope that when our children remember their years as Mustangs, they will truly treasure the experience they had as junior high students being educated in a richly diverse environment.
