In October, Principal Duane Schupp resigned (effective the end of the school year) but was then placed on administrative leave earlier this month. This has prompted many of us to speculate and also form strong opinions and express them in a multitude of ways. We care about what is happening at our children's school, as we should, and I'm grateful that it seems there are other community members who also care even though they may not have children at Memorial. But it seems that what is hopefully rooted in genuine concern for justice and good intentions toward our students has given some folks a feeling of entitlement to express their opinion on this matter in some regrettable ways. We are certainly entitled to our opinions, but I would argue that expressing opinions publicly which totally disrespect and villainize fellow members of the community is not something to which we're entitled.I find myself wondering why we tell our children, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all," when we can be so ugly to one another as adults. I wonder why we quickly condemn bullying in our schools but sometimes act like bullies to one another as adults. Do we want our kids to give one another the benefit of the doubt? But why would they if we don't model it among adults? Do we want our kids to respect public servants and elected officials even if they disagree with them or note their imperfections? How can they if we adults aren't leading the way with such behavior? When my children are fighting, I tell them there are almost always two sides to the story, so why is that so hard to believe when there is controversy among adults?
Most of us don't know all the details of what has happened with Mr. Schupp, but we do know the people on the school board have been elected by this community and have been given decision making power. If we don't agree with their decisions or if we question their integrity, then we are entitled, or even obligated, to run against them or work to have others elected in the future. But I don't think we are entitled to publicly attack them on social media or otherwise. The same goes for Mr. Schupp. There are those who think his departure is a good thing for Memorial, and they are likewise entitled to think that. But that doesn't mean that making damaging accusations against him is beneficial or appropriate.
I wonder if concerned citizens who may have much to offer this community might be deterred from running for office or getting involved in other ways because of the entitlement some of us feel to go on the attack when we disagree with those in leadership positions. I wonder if those who are already elected officials who still have much to offer will fail to run again due to the ugliness they and their families endure. (Might I add in regards to our school board, they aren't even PAID elected officials!)
It's easy to forget that there's a generation of students at Memorial Junior High, T.F. South, and other local schools that are internalizing the behavior they see modeled by the adults in this community. My experience with fellow residents in Lansing is so often full of kindness, good neighbors, those who love the community and give of themselves, and it's easy to forget that when the entitlement of a few to publicly attack others is showcased on social media or in the newspaper.
As we close out 2014, I hope my fellow parents and community members will reflect with me on the difference between the entitlement to our opinions and the entitlement to publicly airing our opinions. Not only am I committed to "If you don't have something nice to say..." behavior, I am committed to not enabling others by listening to, reading, or repeating that which isn't beneficial. I hope you'll join me!
