Why voting on April 7th helps our children succeed

As parents, it's natural to focus on our children's education through the daily grind of homework, studying, progress reports, extracurricular commitments, etc. We care about our children and put forth every effort to diligently fulfill our parental role in their educational process. But there's one important area that we sometimes forget to consider- being informed about our district's school board. The school board members make very important decisions that directly effect our children, such as whether renovations and improvements will be made to our schools, curriculum approval, personnel hiring and firing, and how the district's tax dollars are used.


Did you know there is an election on Tuesday, April 7th that has five candidates running for three school board seats? Voting in this election matters, because having the the most qualified board members making decisions makes a difference in our the education our children receive in this district!

District 158 PTAs will be holding a candidates forum on Thursday evening, March 19th in the MJHS gym from 6:30-8:30 pm. The candidates will introduce themselves and answer questions that allow us to get an idea of who they are and what they believe about education. Please don't miss this opportunity to be informed about the candidates for this upcoming election!

Want a sneak peek of the candidates? Check out the bios below! And remember, if you are traveling for Spring Break, you'll need to do early voting at the Cal City Library between March 23rd and April 4th!

Not registered to vote? Stop by the Lansing Municipal Center at 3141 Ridge Road by tomorrow, March 10th, or take two forms of identification to the Cal City Library between March 23-April 4th where you can register and do early voting simultaneously.

Have questions you hope to see addressed by the candidates or want more info on voter registration or early voting? Email dominique.newman@coolidgepta.com. And be sure to pass on this info to other Lansing residents!

Our Principal Resigned, Then Went on Leave, Now What???

Christmas is an appropriate time to consider how we balance the joy of giving gifts to our kids with the reality that kids can quickly go in the direction of feeling entitled rather than full of gratitude for that which we have given in love. It's a relevant and worthy subject that I had planned to explore, but given the continued controversy surrounding Duane Schupp, I would instead like to encourage us as parents to explore our own struggles with feeling entitled- particularly when it comes to the way in which we express our opinions.

In October, Principal Duane Schupp resigned (effective the end of the school year) but was then placed on administrative leave earlier this month. This has prompted many of us to speculate and also form strong opinions and express them in a multitude of ways. We care about what is happening at our children's school, as we should, and I'm grateful that it seems there are other community members who also care even though they may not have children at Memorial. But it seems that what is hopefully rooted in genuine concern for justice and good intentions toward our students has given some folks a feeling of entitlement to express their opinion on this matter in some regrettable ways. We are certainly entitled to our opinions, but I would argue that expressing opinions publicly which totally disrespect and villainize fellow members of the community is not something to which we're entitled.

I find myself wondering why we tell our children, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all," when we can be so ugly to one another as adults. I wonder why we quickly condemn bullying in our schools but sometimes act like bullies to one another as adults. Do we want our kids to give one another the benefit of the doubt? But why would they if we don't model it among adults? Do we want our kids to respect public servants and elected officials even if they disagree with them or note their imperfections? How can they if we adults aren't leading the way with such behavior? When my children are fighting, I tell them there are almost always two sides to the story, so why is that so hard to believe when there is controversy among adults?

Most of us don't know all the details of what has happened with Mr. Schupp, but we do know the people on the school board have been elected by this community and have been given decision making power. If we don't agree with their decisions or if we question their integrity, then we are entitled, or even obligated, to run against them or work to have others elected in the future. But I don't think we are entitled to publicly attack them on social media or otherwise. The same goes for Mr. Schupp. There are those who think his departure is a good thing for Memorial, and they are likewise entitled to think that. But that doesn't mean that making damaging accusations against him is beneficial or appropriate.

I wonder if concerned citizens who may have much to offer this community might be deterred from running for office or getting involved in other ways because of the entitlement some of us feel to go on the attack when we disagree with those in leadership positions. I wonder if those who are already elected officials who still have much to offer will fail to run again due to the ugliness they and their families endure. (Might I add in regards to our school board, they aren't even PAID elected officials!)

It's easy to forget that there's a generation of students at Memorial Junior High, T.F. South, and other local schools that are internalizing the behavior they see modeled by the adults in this community. My experience with fellow residents in Lansing is so often full of kindness, good neighbors, those who love the community and give of themselves, and it's easy to forget that when the entitlement of a few to publicly attack others is showcased on social media or in the newspaper.

As we close out 2014, I hope my fellow parents and community members will reflect with me on the difference between the entitlement to our opinions and the entitlement to publicly airing our opinions. Not only am I committed to "If you don't have something nice to say..." behavior, I am committed to not enabling others by listening to, reading, or repeating that which isn't beneficial. I hope you'll join me!

Our Principal Resigned. Now What???

As most of you have probably heard by now, Duane Schupp has resigned as principal of MJHS effective June 2015. This was certainly a surprise to me, as I’m sure it was for many others. While there will be an appropriate time to discuss the role of parents in helping the students and school transition to new leadership next school year, I think that the more pressing topic is serious consideration of how we respond to this information in our interactions with other community members, teachers, and most importantly, our children. 

Naturally, our first instinct as parents is to want DETAILS! ALL THE DETAILS! And where do we look for details? Other parents? Teachers? SOCIAL MEDIA??!!! I get it, truly I do. But I want to challenge my fellow parents to use this situation as an opportunity to model for our children the importance of kindness, respect, and measured words in a spirit that builds up rather than tears down our administrators, staff, faculty, and students.

I do not know the circumstances surrounding Mr. Schupp’s decision, nor do I know at this point whether it is a good thing for Memorial, a bad thing for Memorial, or just something that was unavoidable for whatever reason. And the truth is I really don’t need to know the circumstances of the decision. It’s not my business and I don’t see how having this information would be of any help to my children, their school, or the community. Frankly, I only want to know because I’m nosey. That’s the truth, though it’s hard to admit. But since I try to encourage my children to stay out of people’s business and refrain from stirring up drama with their friends, I’m attempting to make decisions about my response to this situation based on rational thoughts instead of curiosity and feelings. I am continually pounding it into my children’s heads that we need to treat others the way we want to be treated. In other words, put yourself in the other person’s place. Now consider how you would want those around you to respond in a given situation and conduct yourself accordingly. So, I’m committed to modeling this for my children in a very relevant way as it relates to Mr. Schupp’s resignation. If you see my point and want to join me in this endeavor, here are some thoughts.

1     Don’t Assume the Worst- Why do our minds naturally go to the worst and most dramatic scenarios? Maybe it’s the media’s constant focus on the negative, the drama, the scandal. But here is what we know. Mr. Schupp’s resignation isn’t effective immediately, therefore we can rest assured that this resignation is not related to some gross neglect or harm that has come to a student at Memorial. I haven’t always agreed with Mr. Schupp on every detail and method, but I am convinced that he loves the students and has accomplished good things at Memorial. This resignation in no way negates that, and we would do well to remember that.

2   Don’t Speculate- There is really no value in speculating on all of the potential factors that have led to this decision. Speculation often times gives birth to rumors which can be damaging and even devastating to those involved.

3   Don’t Torture the School Board Members- Please remember that our school board and superintendent have legal and ethical obligations to protect confidentiality in situations related to employment. We also need to acknowledge that breaching that confidentiality is a liability to the district which can result in a lawsuit.   I value transparency in our leadership and their decisions and I think it’s truly important for accountability, but sometimes we take it too far and disregard the legal and ethical obligations to which our leaders must adhere.  And anyway, this was a resignation, not a termination of employment.  So accosting the board on this issue is futile.

4  Do Respect Privacy- Individuals in high profile or public positions of authority are often scrutinized, and to a degree that is reasonable and necessary. However, we also need to agree that a person has a right to their privacy regarding their career decisions. If Mr. Schupp would like to share his reasons for this decision with parents and the community, I have every confidence that he is capable and confident and will do just that. But he is under no obligation to do so, and we need to remember that.

Since the decision has been made and the resignation tendered, it seems the best course of action is to encourage our children to continue to respect Mr. Schupp’s authority for the remainder of his time at Memorial and foster enthusiasm in our children for welcoming a new principal next school year. We can begin to optimistically look forward to what this new leader will bring to the students and school.

This seems silly to say, but possibly needs to be said- We are not junior high kids, we are PARENTS of junior high kids. Involving ourselves in gossip and drama that is surely seen by our children would truly be a disservice to them, and to the entire community. I hope you will join me in fighting the urge to gossip and choosing instead to instill values in our children through a positive example.

Remember the Mustangs?

One of my very favorite movies of all time is Remember the Titans. Not only do I love it because it's a great football movie, but I love it because it's based on the true story of a winning high school football team that helped transform a town's prejudice in the 1960s by being a truly united multiracial team. Although in Lansing today we don't face the overt racial tensions of the 60s, I believe that in our ethnically diverse village, we still need to be sensitive in our interactions with one another. It's also important that we are intentional about setting an example for our children and openly communicate with them about the ethnic diversity at Memorial Junior High School. Therefore, I want to challenge us as parents to take a few moments to consider what we are communicating to our children, either directly or indirectly, whether intentional or unintentional.

 I deeply value the ethnic and racial diversity of Memorial Junior High School. Learning to understand and appreciate different cultures is such an important part of being a well educated individual. Learning to interact well with people of different races and cultures is a also vital life skill that our children will need to succeed professionally and thrive socially. By attending a diverse school, our children are learning to interact each day with those from different backgrounds and cultures. Take one minute and watch this scene from Remember the Titans!


Did you attend Open House at MJHS a couple weeks ago? Did you notice the growing diversity of the faculty and administration? I'm excited about this as it should give students the opportunity to see adults of varied ethnicity working as a team and rallying around a common goal. It is my hope and expectation that our teachers and administrators will model for our students the highest standards in relationship building and racial sensitivity. But, of even greater importance, we, as parents, have a critical obligation to model for our children these high standards of interaction and sensitivity toward fellow parents and students of varying ethnic backgrounds.

I'm in a somewhat unique position to comment on this topic because I am a Caucasian, married to a Jamaican, and the mother of three biracial children. Our family experience in Lansing in regards to race has been overwhelmingly positive. We enjoy many wonderful friendships with families that represent a wide array of ethnic backgrounds and have been truly enriched by these relationships. But, we have also personally encountered a small handful of disappointing interactions that should be deemed unacceptable by each of us as part of this richly diverse community. So, while this vast issue could be and should be addressed in much depth elsewhere, I'm choosing just three simple principles based on a few of the less than desirable situations that we have encountered.

1. Please, please, please, do not look down on those whose primary language is not English. Yes, this is America. Yes, our official language is English. However, that does not mean that people should be forced to abandon their native language in every way, shape, and form. It is reasonable for our community to offer vital information in other languages, particularly when it is crucial that important information being communicated is thoroughly understood. I once sat in a meeting where someone expressed dislike for the idea of offering a brochure in another language. Why would we ever want to deny a fellow parent the opportunity to understand and be involved in activities at our school due to language barriers? By the way, have you noticed the "google translate" option on this blog? :)

2. Speak using sensitivity! I truly hope and want to assume that parents have candidly addressed the seriousness of racial slurs with their children. But, the importance of using sensitive words regarding differences in culture or race is also vital. For example, saying, "What are you?" is not a respectful way to inquire about someone's ethnicity. My daughter has been asked in this way by an adult, not just other children! Help your child understand that it's okay to be curious and ask about someone's race, ethnicity, or culture, but only in a way that carefully communicates respect to the other person.

3. Perpetuating stereotypes, even when seemingly innocent, is simply not acceptable. Not long ago someone shared with my husband that he really liked "how your people always wear bright colors". The individual genuinely thought he was paying my husband a compliment, and my husband graciously considered that and responded with kindness. However, it is just not acceptable to adhere to or encourage generalizations about an ethnic group or race. And it is important that racial stereotypes are not passed on to the next generation. So, we must be honest with ourselves in acknowledging the stereotypes we believe in order to avoid passing these stereotypes to our children.

If you haven't seen Remember the Titans, or you haven't watched it recently, I would encourage you to watch it with your child! The racial and ethnic diversity that is reflected in our community and at Memorial Junior High School is not mirrored in very many other communities in Chicagoland, or elsewhere for that matter. This diversity is rare and it is precious, and we must treat our unity in that diversity as rare and precious also. One of my favorite lines from Remember the Titans is when one of the white football players is severely injured and wants his black teammate to be allowed in the hospital room to visit. The player says to the nurse, "Alice, are you blind? Don't you see the family resemblance? That's my brother." It is my hope and prayer that our community, and particularly our children at MJHS, will be a shining example of the kind of racial unity that was achieved so many years ago by the Titans of Alexandria, Virginia. And I hope that when our children remember their years as Mustangs, they will truly treasure the experience they had as junior high students being educated in a richly diverse environment.

Parental Marching Orders For a New School Year

Once again, summer has flown by in a flash! It's hard to believe that it's time to send our children back to school! Like many parents, I have gone into total "back-to-school mode" including a plethora of school supplies purchased, taking my kids shopping for new clothes and shoes, and the oh-so-important quest for the perfect new backpacks (see left, mission accomplished). The charm of the back to school shopping phenomenon is the idea that we want our children to return to school prepared and excited for the new academic year ahead. It's important to us that they start off on the right foot! Likewise, we as parents need to be excited and prepared to help our children succeed this school year. Here are a couple of "marching orders" to help us start off this school year on the right foot.

1. Step Up! to get started on the right foot-

Parents, we have to step up and keep ourselves informed this year! There are plenty of resources available to help us monitor our children's grades and keep updated on important dates and events. Here are the most important ones:

• The Memorial Junior High School webpage on the District 158 website has helpful links, resources, and a calendar. It includes a supply list, PTA info, and a staff directory. Make sure you check it often! http://www.d158.net/schools/memorial-junior-high-school/

• Power School is a fantastic resource for monitoring our children's progress and grades. You can connect with teachers, check attendance records, view lunch balances, and more. You received your child's username and password at registration. If you can't locate it, call the office at 708-474-2383. http://powerschool.d158.net/public/ 

• Go to Open House on Thursday, September 4th from 6:30-8:00 PM! This is such an important evening to visit each of your child's new classes and hear from each teacher about expectations and the year ahead. Be sure to get your child's schedule from Power School if they aren't attending with you.

2. Put Your Foot Down! to get started on the right foot

The "one day at a time" philosophy is really important as we anticipate the work ahead of us and our children to ensure academic success. We have to be committed, one day at a time, to holding our children accountable for their academic performance and healthy habits and behavior. We probably need to have a heart to heart talk with our kids as they head back to school and clearly lay out our expectations of them in this new school year. A couple of the highlights of my heart to heart will include:

• Prioritization of time- rest, homework, and limited screen time         
• Middle school students, no matter how responsible, need to be reminded occasionally that proper rest and homework trump TV, video games, social media, and texting!

• Expectation of best effort- preparation, organization, good choices 
• I've said it before and I'll say it again- "I don't expect perfection, but I do expect your best effort," is incredibly important to communicate to our children. Best effort probably needs a bit of defining for our kiddos. Preparation, organization, and good choices are the three things that I use to measure "best effort". On this point I would throw in the idea of, "progress, not perfection". Let's face it, middle schoolers are a wreck sometimes, aren't they?

• My availability to help- ALWAYS 
• It seems odd that we, as parents, need to let our children know that they can come to us for help! But it's something we need to clearly state over and over again. As we embark on the new adventures of this school year, I'm letting my daughter know that she can come to me anytime she needs help and with anything she may need help with- that covers not only academics, but all areas of life including situations that may arise with friends or teachers.

So, to recap, our parental marching orders are to step up and put your foot down to get the school year started on the right foot! And...............march!

Summer Bucket Lists!

I think I have a love/hate relationship with summer vacation! I'm always totally ready for the break from the daily morning rush to get the kids out the door for school, the grind of homework, projects, after school commitments, etc. However, I do feel like there can be a fine line between embracing and enjoying the carefree days of summer and giving ourselves over to laziness and overindulgence in things like TV, video games, and all things entertainment.

A few years ago, one of my facebook friends posted a picture of a family bucket list that she and her children had made for summer vacation. In the caption she shared that it was their way of making sure that they didn't waste the precious days of summer without doing some things that were important to them. I thought it was a brilliant idea, and it is a tradition that we have adopted as a family as well. It has been a lot of fun to work together and include a variety of ideas from each family member as we make our lists. I would encourage any family who wants to be intentional about making great memories this summer to take the time to do the family bucket list! Our family bucket list from last year is pictured below.

In addition to the family bucket list that will keep us on track for a summer of great memories, I'm thinking of secretly creating another little bucket list of my own that has a bit more intentional focus on making sure we continue to learn all summer long! Here are my top 5 Summer Learning Bucket List Items:

1. Reading- This is a given! Thankfully my daughter is an avid reader and doesn't need motivation to keep her nose in a book, but my two sons definitely require some effort.  Check out the American Library Association's SUMMER READING LIST for 6th-8th graders. We always do the summer reading program at Lansing Library (and I certainly recommend it), but it doesn't cover the entire summer and doesn't provide much accountability. So, I'm thinking of something pretty radical. I'm considering making my sons earn their TV and video game time allowance based on time spent reading!

2. Day Trips- Our proximity to Chicago affords us access to some of the best museums, nature centers, theaters, and cultural festivals in the entire nation. I grew up in western Pennsylvania and one of the biggest reasons I have stayed in this area is because of the amazing educational opportunities of living so close to a major city. Link to this list of MUSEUM FREE DAYS to plan a summer day that is inexpensive, fun, and educational. You can also use your Lansing Library card at www.museumadventure.org for museum discounts and passes!

3. Camps and Classes- My kids participate in a variety of great sports related leagues, camps, and classes during summer vacation. But this year, I want to be sure each of them tries something new in addition to improving their skills in areas they already know they enjoy. Lansing, Homewood, Munster, and South Holland all have park district programs that offer a wide variety of camps and classes. Their summer catalogs are available online. Most of them are inexpensive and don't require a big time commitment.The Center for Visual and Performing Arts in Munster has art and theater camps and classes. South Suburban College also offers summer classes and camps for students in elementary, middle school, and high school. There are tons of other incredible opportunities in the Chicagoland area if you have the time and money to invest, but the above organizations have a lot of potential for summer learning opportunities!

4. Websites and Workbooks- I am ashamed to say I have never consistently had my children work on math in the summer. This year I'm thinking I may order a couple workbooks and offer to take a chore off of their daily chore list for each page they do in the workbook. Amazon has quite a few workbooks that are targeted to middle school math skills. As for websites, www.coolmath.com is supposed to be a good one and I think 15 or 20 minutes on the website is probably equal to about one page in a workbook, right?

5. Volunteering- This is something that has been on my mind the past few months. Summer is a great time to teach kids about the importance of being active in the community and helping others without expecting anything in return. I think volunteering with my children on a weekly basis this summer would be a great learning experience. I need to take time to do more research, but Lansing Food Pantry could probably use volunteers. Link to their facebook page HERE. Many of the local churches that run Vacation Bible Schools for younger children use help from middle school students. Our church (in Dolton) just started a food pantry and needs help on Tuesdays and Wednesdays so I'm planning to make one of those days a weekly commitment. Even donating the proceeds from a lemonade stand or garage sale to a local charity can be a great way to encourage our kids to help others!

I'm excited for summer vacation and can't wait to see what types of exciting activities make this year's official bucket list! And I'm also excited to be more intentional than ever this summer to ensure that my kids continue to learn all summer long. I'm sure The Bucket Lists will make the summer of 2014 one to remember! I hope you'll join my family and create bucket lists for your family to enjoy this summer too!

The 5 Ws of Becoming a P.I. (Parent Investigator)

A couple of weeks ago I had a conversation with a fellow Mustang parent that left me wondering if our children actually attend the same school. She shared with me some frustrations about communicating with her child's teachers and frankly my experiences have been quite the opposite of hers. This dialogue made me think that it might be helpful for us as parents to consider a few things regarding communication with our MJHS Teachers.

The five Ws are a formula used in police investigations, journalism, and other types of research as the method of getting the WHOLE STORY. As parents it can be difficult to get the whole story when we are really only getting our child's perspective and version of a confusing or frustrating situation with a teacher. So, I'm suggesting that we Mustang parents employ the 5 Ws listed below when a circumstance arises that needs a bit of investigating!

Who- A good P.I. (Parent Investigator) goes straight to the source!
I think it's really important to contact the teacher directly when there is a concern. It's really tempting to call a fellow parent, get on social media, or go to an administrator or another teacher, but I know that in my job, I really appreciate someone bringing a concern to me directly first rather than discussing with others before I've had a chance to clarify potential misunderstandings. Teachers are professionals, and we need to respect them and give them a chance to clarify or make situations right. Nothing puts me on the defensive more quickly than knowing that someone took their grievance with me to someone else first. Now my natural tendency is to be less willing to hear the person out and work with them, because I feel disrespected. Same goes for teachers, wouldn't you say?

What-  A smart P.I. chooses battles wisely!
Do I need to voice every single grievance every single time I hear some little thing that displeases me? No, no I don't. Oh, this is such a hard one for me. Choosing my battles. I think it's important to give teachers the benefit of the doubt and allow for a "bad day" because as a parent and professional I have bad days and hope the benefit of the doubt will be extended to me. If my daughter shares that a teacher is rude, unfair, or harsh and it is not something serious or that seems to be a pattern, I let it go. On the other hand, I had a situation where my daughter was convinced that a teacher hated her and provided some solid reasons why she felt that way over a period of several weeks. That, of course, had to be addressed and was thankfully quickly resolved once I emailed the teacher. By the way, I think email is the best first route of communication because I can be sure to say what I mean and it is often easier for the teacher than having to get a phone message and find a time to make a call.

When- A clever P.I. takes the time needed to get the whole story!
I really do think that waiting at least a few hours before making a call or shooting an email is the prudent way to go.  If my child is upset, it is pretty natural for me to get upset too. Sometimes once my child is more relaxed, she actually shares more information that's relevant to a situation and because I have waited, I have a better grasp on my actual concern. With my younger children, I actually have cell phone numbers for some of their teachers because of medical issues. Would you believe I have had to stop myself more than once from texting a teacher on the weekend! Unless it is something coming up first thing Monday morning that is essential, I really need to respect that teachers have lives and families and obligations outside of school! We have to be patient and trust that in most cases it's okay if it takes a day or two for a teacher to return a call or email.

Where- A prudent P.I. respects the privacy of their child and the teacher!
Discussing in a public place where others can overhear isn't fair to the teacher and it isn't really fair to my child either. I'll include social media as a public place as well...Not long ago, I made the mistake of trying to discuss a relatively serious concern with a teacher in the middle of a busy science fair! She was kind and gracious, but I really shouldn't have expected to have her full attention and investment of time in the middle of the science fair madness. In retrospect, I wish I had just mentioned that I wanted to meet with her or speak on the phone and asked when the best time to contact her would be. Getting the full picture of a situation will be much more likely in a more private environment, phone conversation, or email.

Why- An informed P.I. asks questions rather than making accusations!
Asking questions is of utmost importance.  Allowing the teacher an opportunity to share their perspective rather than making assumptions and accusations really goes a long way. In the past, I have said things like, "My daughter said..........did she misunderstand in some way?" or "Can you understand why that concerns me?". Almost all the teachers I have encountered both at Coolidge and Memorial have been fair minded enough to hear me out and respond respectfully. Setting a tone of respect by asking questions rather than making accusations has certainly helped the process.

Well fellow Parent Investigators, I hope the above is of some benefit as we finish out another school year these next couple of months. Communicating with teachers is a critical component of helping our children succeed in school. And if we stick to these 5 Ws of communication, we can wear our P.I. badges proudly!

Interested in more about communicating with teachers? Check out these brief articles that are good for parents of elementary or junior high students:
Tips For Communicating with Teachers Effectively
The Parent Teacher Partnership